I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
