That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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