you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
