I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
