I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
