is your mom at the bar?
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
