If i come over, it means nothing
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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