like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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