That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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