im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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