My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
