im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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