I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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