He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
