I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize