Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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