I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
