wanna go halves on a baby?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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