i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize