erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
