But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
