This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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