I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
