hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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