Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
