If that was your dad, he is hot
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
