people are starting to question the shark bite story
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
