Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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