had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
