4 words: hood of his car
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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