When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
