Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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