it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
