he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize