I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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