whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
