Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
