Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
