I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
