They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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