Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
