Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
