I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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