Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
