what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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