AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
