it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
