If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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