mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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