Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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