I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
