just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
