I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
