oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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