He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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