I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
