Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
