i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
