guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
